Growing up, I lived in two houses. We lived in the first house until I was 15, and then we moved to the house that my parents currently live in. I remember my house always being clean. My mom worked very hard, and we all had chores. I like to think that when we were little, the house got messy - the way my house does now - but I really don't remember that.
I have been thinking about this over the last few days. I tend to be a lazy house keeper. I tend to leave clothes in laundry baskets waiting to be folded, I don't clean the kitchen after each meal, the garbage really needs to go out by the time I get around to it. I could go on, but I wont.
Growing up, setting the table was the coveted chore. It was easy. Just move the stuff that had accumulated through out the day (often we just moved it to a different spot!), and set out the dishes. Always a fork, knife and spoon, with a folded napkin, plate and glass.
I tell my self that I don't do this because my kids are little. I never give them knives. And napkins are in a little holder on the table so I don't put one at each plate.
The dreaded job was clearing the table. It seemed like it took forever. We had to clear the dishes, put away the leftovers, and condiments. We had to load the dishwasher; wash, dry and put away the dishes that wouldn't fit; wipe off the tables and counter tops; sweep the floor and start the dishwasher and empty the garbage if it needed to go.
I don't do that much after dinner in my home. I should. It would make breakfast easier. However, like I said, I'm lazy. And by the time it is after dinner, I'm tired. Excuses, I know.
The past few days I have been trying to do better though. I've had the kids helping clear the table, getting the dishes loaded in the dishwasher and washing the dishes. I typically wipe down the counters too. But, I've got to do better. I need to do it the way I had to growing up.
So, here's my question. How much do you do? What do your kids do (ages also, please!)? Any advice, tips or suggestions?
10 comments:
I've struggled with getting the table cleared and cleaned up for years now. My kids are now ages 5 & 2 - I have enlisted my 5 year old in helping more this year. She is in charge of getting out and putting away my IKEA napkin holder and doing the same with placemats. She also can also get out the silverware and put it in its place. We have consciously decided this year to make sure we get dinner cleaned up as soon as we finish dinner. Nobody is 'excused' until everything gets done. OK...so my 2 year old isn't very helpful, but he can bring his spoon to the sink and sometimes even his plastic cup if he's emptied it. My husband champions the effort and stands at the sink where we take the dishes to him to rinse and put in the dishwasher. I put the leftovers in Tupperware - see me if you want to order some ;) & wash off the table. It usually only takes about 5 minutes to get it all done and then...I don't have to deal with it again until breakfast.
Anyway...that's what we do, rather - what we are doing right now. It has been working pretty well. Best of luck!
My life is absolute insanity right now because Maggie is dumping her toys down the stairs, clearing off bookshelves, and emptying drawers ALL DAY and by the end of the night I don't have the energy to do anything about it. So I'm not in a position to tell you what we do. But one of my professors at BYU did a really cool thing with his family where they'd set the timer for 5 (or maybe it was 10) minutes after dinner and they all worked to clean up the kitchen (all the things you said you guys had to do at your house, wash dishes, take out garbage, etc.) If they finished before the timer went off then the dad had to put a quarter in a jar. They did this after every meal they had together. A quarter doesn't sound like much, but it adds up. Anyway, then they would do something fun with the jar money every year.
OK. This is very hard and I struggle with what to give my kids too.My kids are 8,6 and 4. They all help set the table together. They all help clear the table together. As far as the kitchen goes, that's about it. Depending on what I am making, they help to prepare dinner. They are too short to do dishes and most dishes are kept too high for them to empty the dishwasher yet.
In the mornings they make their beds, pick up rooms and are required to read one book. We do lots of books at bedtime but I want them to know that reading is for any time of day, not just at night.
Saturdays they hav lots of chores in the morning like vaccuumming, dusting, cleaning baseboards, and scrubbing toilets. The rest of the week they just don't have time between, sports, school, dance, and everything else.
I did just go to the Learning Palace last week and bought them each their own job chart so they can see each day what they have to do.
i am still trying to find the perfect balance. and as such, things change quite frequently. we've done chore charts and such, and we go really strong for the first few months, but then it fizzles. it just seems so much less work for me to just do everything, but i don't. i know the kids need to learn responsibility and work ethic, etc.
so, currently, our house is on the market so our house is pretty much spotless all the time. i love a spotless house, it makes me happy. the girls each clear their own dishes after dinner and put things in the dishwasher. sometimes they set the table. on days when we need some extra cleaning, nani will vacuum while lala does toilets and mirrors. then they can both do windows. their room must always be clean, no clothes on the floor toys put away when they are not playing with them. we have a "one box rule". all of the toys are in labeled boxes. they can have one out at a time. when they are done playing and want to do something else, then they must put the current box of toys away before they can get a new box out! it works about 2/3rd's of the time.
when there is a spill or an accidental mess they are required to clean it up, not mommie.
with certain chores we do pay them a quarter so they can learn about money and tithing and savings. also, they learn money management.
that's what is working right now. i think for us, they see how much i value cleanliness and order so they realize the importance of helping keep that order because i am much happier that way and they notice it!
it definitely helps to have the house on the market because we can't slack off like we might tend to do otherwise. hopefully this time in our life will get us into better habits that will continue once we move into our new house!
I loved reading this because it was so honest and I could really relate to it. My girls have a chore chart of what has to be done M-sat. It is different stuff for each of them each day. These chores have to be completed as soon as they get home from school. then comes homework and then they leave for dance, soccer, etc. If they dont have a sport that day they can play. On Saturday they have some chores they have to do each saturday but then they also have rotating ones that depend on what Saturday of the month it is (1st, 2nd, etc.) these are things like weeding a garden bed, washing the car and others.
As far as dinner time goes I am TERRIBLE about doing dishes. I hate them. It's true. I do. And unfortunately I havent' done a real good job at teaching my kids todo them yet. You'd think my 14 year old would be old enough to help with them but she is worse then my 8 and 10 years olds. I'd rather her not do them. I know that is no excuse and I should just work on teaching her better but i'm not there yet. Someone every day has to set the table which is part of their chores and someone has to clean up which in our house means putting leftovers away, putting milk away and clearing the table. Everyone is responsible for clearing their own dishes and putting them in the sink. We started that last year and it's worked well.
OK, I have dishes in the sink and Saturday work (our family chore time) to do...and I'm sitting at the computer. I don't know how I can EASILY sew/read or do other things for hours on end (before baby 4)...and I'm not as motivated to spend hours scrubbing. I would like to have it all scrubbed and shiny, but I guess not as much as doing other things. We've gone through MANY methods over the years with the boys, the end result is not one of them prefers things clean over messy...sigh. I have taught them to work and their work ethic for others is fantastic, at home...it's less. Good luck!
Flying off to get going so I'm working while son#3 is!! Thanks for the motivation and the honesty...and the cupcake story. ; )
D.
OK, I have dishes in the sink and Saturday work (our family chore time) to do...and I'm sitting at the computer. I don't know how I can EASILY sew/read or do other things for hours on end (before baby 4)...and I'm not as motivated to spend hours scrubbing. I would like to have it all scrubbed and shiny, but I guess not as much as doing other things. We've gone through MANY methods over the years with the boys, the end result is not one of them prefers things clean over messy...sigh. I have taught them to work and their work ethic for others is fantastic, at home...it's less. Good luck!
Flying off to get going so I'm working while son#3 is!! Thanks for the motivation and the honesty...and the cupcake story. ; )
D.
I am so blessed that my 16yo is a neat freak and likes to clean so she helps a lot.
Aspen is 3,5 and helps by handing me clean or dirty dishes, helping move clothes around in the laundy cycle and helping me pick up ger toys. Chores she does indepenently don't exist yet, probably just because I am lazy about instituting them.
so hard! Right now all we have Max doing (and of course he's 4.5) is helping set the table, cleaning his own room (mostly) once a week, and putting away the silverware from the dishwasher.
I tried having him help me put laundry away for a while, but that was just such a pain, and he always smushed up the folded clothes and put things in the wrong place. I decided it was more trouble than it's worth right now when he's so little.
I've been trying a new system where I do a big cleanup and all laundry one day a week. Then the rest of the week I just do light picking up and kitchen cleaning. It's been working out pretty well so far.
I hear you! This is something I struggle with. I always swear I am going to get everything all cleaned up after dinner so things will be easier in the morning but I am always so tired and ready to veg out at night that it rarely happens.
The only time it gets done is when I enlist help from my husband. If he helps than we get things done quick.
My son is 3 and he does help, a little. We have his (plastic)plates and cups etc in a bottom drawer in the kitchen so he can reach them and he sets his place and his sisters. He also has to clear his dishes to the sink after dinner. If he makes a mess on the chair or floor I make him use the dust buster and or a dish rag to clean it up. We are also working with him to learn how to take out the trash after dinner. He still needs a lot of help with this but he is learning and eventually will do it on his own.
I like the timer idea someone else mentioned.
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